Smother Me
by Itaweasel-hime
Summary: The prequel to Join Me in Death. Itachi waits for Sasuke's arrival, while silently remembering his relationship with Sakura. In the beginning, he had never intended to fall in love, but she just blew him away. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is going to be either two or three chapters long, and it is a prequel to my one-shot **_**Join Me**_**. Thank you for reading!**

_Itachi sighed tiredly, inspecting his painted fingernails with disinterest. It was the end of everything, and as it was slowly closing in on him from all sides, he realized he had so much to regret. He shifted slightly on the stone throne hidden deep within the bowels of the Uchiha hideout, allowing himself to remember all of his relations with Sakura for one, last time._

She was practically shaking in her boots, nearly loud enough for him to hear it from across the clearing. Her antics were amusing, to say the least; to think he could terrify the chunin kunoichi to such an extent. Then again, he had reached ANBU at the same age that she had graduated the academy, a formidable fact she was sure to know.

He observed as she nervously ran a feeble hand through strew, pink locks, giving her blond counterpart an anxious glance. The kyuubi, however, did not notice this action, and was much too busy glaring at himself. Itachi sighed quietly to himself, then pointed a single finger at the tensed group.

"It is time for you to come with me, Naruto-kun." He said stonily, releasing his genjutsu onto the unsuspecting group. While Hatake, the Kyuubi, and the Suna elder did not sense a change around them, the pink-haired kunoichi realized it instantly. Much to his surprise, she closed her eyes in concentration, dispelling a large enough amount of chakra to free herself from the genjutsu he had seconds previously cast.

She glanced again at her oblivious friend, then turned back to stare at his chin. Frowning, Itachi tried to expand the genjutsu to cover her again, but immediately after doing so, the kunoichi countered it with her own dose of chakra. His stare hardened into a full-out glower. Ah, a genjutsu type. It seemed pointless for him to exert himself further, if he wanted to overrule her.

Curiously, he took a step closer to the glaring pixie of a girl, to see her get into a battle stance a moment later. A smirk, which she could see with irritation, crossed his lips as he walked slowly to the frozen kunoichi, his amusement with the frightened girl refreshing. He wondered absentmindedly when the last time he had even seen a female was. He was certain it had been too long.

By the time he was standing a foot away from her, every muscle in her body was stiff, and after looking at her for a second, Itachi came to the conclusion that her appearance was the least practical for a kunoichi. Her hair was pink, and though he was sure it was very _pretty,_ not only did it stick out almost obnoxiously, but it was easily recognizable. Usually, a shinobi does not want their features to be memorable, or they will end up being hunted down for a bounty. The fact that she wore bright red did not help her situation either.

She was glaring at his chin, much to his amusement, but at least she knew something. If she did look him in the eyes, there were several painful jutsu he could cast over her, and she was smart enough to be wary of that. Nonetheless, could grate on someone's nerves if every person they met were too terrified to even look him in the eyes. It made the world seem spineless.

Itachi hoped she did not think herself to be threatening, because unless she had the boldness to look him square in the eye, then she was unfortunately wrong, even if it was wiser not to.

"Haruno Sakura, I presume. Medic-nin trained by Tsunade, and originally a genin student of Hatake, along with the kyuubi and my ototo. How interesting, that you would be a genjutsu type." He commented more to himself than to her. Her eyes widened in horror, no doubt because of how much he already knew about her, and her eyes slowly moved up to his, as if she did not even realize it.

It surprised him how much he could see in those brilliant, green orbs. His own face and sharingan reflected off them like a crystal mirror, but behind that, he could see straight into her. At the moment, all there was to look at was instinctive fear, but there was something deep within that screamed out gentleness. Then there was a small streak of rebelliousness he could sense in her, a want to prove herself to the world. She showed everything, did not guard her emotions at all, which should not have been allowed for any shinobi.

"How the _fuck _do you know anything about me?" She growled. He ignored the urge to chuckle; the girl had a dirty mouth as well. It was entertaining to see Sakura glare up at him with no restraint, and admittedly, it was much more menacing then when she had been staring at his jawline.He was still Uchiha Itachi though, and so he would not be easily intimidated by a sixteen year old kunoichi with pink hair

"You are intimately connected with both my brother and the Jinchuriki. Did you think I would know nothing about the kunoichi so closely related to Sasuke and my target? How presumptuous of you." He replied calmly, watching as she bristled at his brother's name. Clearly, she was upset over Sasuke's leaving Konoha, not that he could blame her for that. The thought that Orochimaru had his younger brother in his grasp disgusted him greatly, and it was annoying that Sasuke had not cared to stay in Konoha, as Itachi had intended him to.

"His name is Naruto, not _Jinchuriki_, you Uchiha bastard." Sakura fumed, her green eyes sharpening as she bore into his spinning, crimson sharingan. If she had been afraid before, that fear was gone, replaced by burning fury. She was an entertaining kunoichi to be sure.

"Let me assure you, Haruno, that I was legitimately born. My parents were respectable when it came to such things." He murmured. Perhaps it had been too far to bring up his parents in this, because a second later, she threw a chakra enhanced punch right at his face. Apparently, the hokage had taught the girl more than just medical ninjutsu. He tilted his head away from her fist, catching her wrist.

"Yet, you had to gall to murder them! I am sure they were very respectable people!" She shouted sarcastically, chakra charging into her other hand. Her fingers curled together into another fist, which she quickly aimed at his face. Again, he dodged, then caught this hand as well, holding both up by the wrist above her head.

"It seems that I have done something to offend you, though I do not recall doing anything to you specifically." He stated, catching her knee with a free hand as it flew up to his crotch.

"You ruined the life of a beloved teammate, who is now so determined to kill you that he ran away for power. Now you are chasing after my best friend so that your sick, twisted organization can suck the kyuubi out of him, killing him in the process. My entire life has been fucked up by you! I have plenty of reason to be angry!"

He sighed, displeased with her volume, then stretched her arms up higher. She was ignorant, sheltered by her village, like every other shinobi that hailed from Konoha. This was to be expected though, very few knew of his involvement in the Uchiha Massacre, and those that did worked to conceal the truth. He mildly wondered if his mission orders were still kept deep in the Hokage's archives, or if Danzo had gotten his slimy hands on them, destroying the evidence. He would be unsurprised if Danzo had.

"I only do as I am ordered to, Haruno. It has nothing to do with me if you chose to bind yourself to Uzumaki Naruto and my brother. I did not force you to do that, you sealed your own fate by forming attachments to them." He told her calmly. She growled from the back of her throat as she tried to tear herself from him, undoubtedly so she could attempt another attack on him. His hold tightened around her wrists though, preventing Sakura from doing so.

"As long as you are stuck here, let me clear something up for you, Haruno. I did not make you chase after a boy so hellbent on revenge that he ignores you, nor did I put you on the same team as Uzumaki. Do not blame others for your own actions."

Realization struck, and the shock set it, because she knew he was right. With that, Itachi released the flabbergasted kunoichi, who stared at him in a fearful amazement. He did not know why he had felt the need to say so much to the girl, but it had felt necessary. Itachi did not have the time to contemplate further, however, because Hatake finally managed to free himself of the genjutsu he was under. Hiding the shock she just recieved seconds before, Sakura steeled herself into another fighting stance. Itachi saw that his amusement was over, for the time being.

...

Itachi sighed, slipping away from the small fire he had built for Kisame and himself. His partner meant well, or at least he assumed he did, but Itachi honestly did not need Kisame's help. Especially with women. In fact, Itachi did not thing it necessary to get involved with anyone of the opposite sex, no matter how much his partner disagreed.

His life was much too hectic for any sort of relationship with a woman, it had been since he was thirteen. Itachi was not the sort of man to visit a brothel, he had never even participated in any sexual activities in his life. Kisame visited whorehouses regularly, and often told him it would do him good to have a woman. He refused to sleep with any prostitute he was offered though, and ignored his physical desires.

Perhaps this time it was his fault, for mentioning offhandedly something about that kunoichi. Ever since he made that small comment, had said that Haruno Sakura was _interesting_, Kisame had begun to hound him. While Haruno Sakura was definitely a very beautiful girl, Itachi had no such interest in her. It would be unwise to become involved with her, if he truly intended to atone for his sins at Sasuke's hand. Besides, he was he was five years her senior, and the evil brother of the teammate she idolized.

Though her appearance was appealing, very desirable if he thought of it, it was her eyes that he found most striking, despite himself. In their short encounter, she had been at first terrified of him, but then he realized, as she avoided his sharingan, that she had also been trying to hold something back. Then, when she looked him in the eye, it amazed him. She was just so expressive, even in her anger. Now, because of those glistening eyes, Kisame was pestering him.

At this point, Itachi only wanted a few moments of peace. Kisame was not going to stop his badgering until he gave into his bodily demands. It had only been a month since that fateful meeting in the clearing, and she undoubtedly had forgotten about it. It was best if she had; Itachi did not want to be the sadistic star of her nightmares.

He walked through the thick foliage of the forest floor, only just barely paying attention to his surroundings. Itachi was always on guard, but only by nature. The greenery slowly thinned, until he broke out of the shadows into an open field, the only thing to see for miles in the brilliant moonlight being a lonely tree, growing on top a short hill.

When Itachi realized it just so happened to be a _cherry tree_, he frowned, a heavy glare setting in. Not needing a reminder of the kunoichi, he started to turn away, with every intention in returning to camp, when he noticed the small, shadowed figure at the base of said tree.

His curiosity piqued, Itachi stepped closer, to inspect the curled-up form. He gasped inaudibly when finding it was _Haruno Sakura _huddled up in the shadows of the cherry tree, crying softly to herself. He felt that he was intruding by being there, but he silently wondered what could have happened to reduce the bold kunoichi to tears.

With not much over a foot between them, he kneeled down, eyeing the sobbing girl with an overload of questions to ask. Her eyes shot up to his in fury; she clearly was not in the mood to deal with him.

"Go away, Uchiha. I do not want to deal with your goddamned paperwork when I get back." She seethed, her teeth clenched together, as if she was trying to prevent herself from saying something more. Personally, he could not care less _what _she said, as an S-class criminal, he was well used to being insulted. Maybe she thought he would torture her for a mere snide remark. That hardly fit his true profile, but she would not be aware of this point, as she had only spoken to him once.

"I have my own paperwork?" He drawled amusedly, only adding to her anger.

"There _will _be plenty of paperwork to be done, after I bring home you goddamned head!" She screeched with indignation. He sighed at the familiarity of the situation, catching her wrist as she threw a punch. He smirked to himself, giving her a look that clearly said she should have learned such actions would not work on him in their last meeting.

"That was hardly polite, Haruno." He stated, letting his smirk show. She growled under her breath with pure irritation.

"Right, because you are simply the epitome of proper etiquette." She bit back sarcastically.

"It was something instilled in me by my mother at a very young age." He returned solemnly. Sakura flinched at his tone, and he knew she was wondering how he could even dare mention his perished mother, after being the one to kill her. It was understandable that this disgusted her, that he was so seemingly comfortable speaking of them in light conversation. She did not bother to reply, but instead ripped her arm back to wrap it around herself. He watched this small, self-protective action, then was reminded of the state he had found her in.

Stifling a yawn, as he had not slept for a few days, Itachi turned and sat next to her against the tree. The look she gave him was classic. Her eyes bulged, and then her jaw slackened, hanging somewhere in her lap. Sakura was absolutely horrified by the idea of him sitting next to her. He supposed he could not blame her, her kunoichi instincts must have been screaming bloody murder for her to run.

"I have no violent purposes here, Haruno, but if it makes you feel better, I can remove my cloak." He muttered, crossing his legs lazily. She said nothing to this, crossing her arms more tightly. Itachi held back a snort, then slowly began to unbutton his Akatsuki cloak, gaging her reaction. He was surprised she had nothing to say about him sitting next to her. Perhaps she already knew it would be low of him to lie, and that he had no intention in harming her.

Sure, he was irritated with her because of Kisame's pestering, but that was not truly her fault. That did not change the fact that she was entertaining, and though he had no desire to deflower her, she was still a beautiful girl. To add onto that, she was no doubt the girl Sasuke intended to continue the Uchiha line with, when the time came. For his younger brother's sake, she was someone worth protecting. He only hoped he could do this without giving away his cover.

Itachi slipped his arms through the silky sleeves of his Akatsuki cloak, setting it next to him in a neat, folded pile. She glared at him, and the fact that he only wore a netting shirt, which was basically pointless. In turn, she seemed to glare at herself for noticing his physique, and was undoubtedly annoyed for him showing off so much muscle.

While skimming his masculine form, her eyes finally fell to the small, flame-like, black tattoo on his upper arm. The symbol of the ANBU black operatives. He did not understand her bewilderment, it was common knowledge that he had once been an ANBU captain, so it was natural for him to have the flaming tattoo.

"You never had your tattoo removed." She muttered, poking the skin unthinkingly. a jolt of something unfamiliar shocked his body, and he was uncertain of how to react. It was strange for someone to willingly touch him, considering is infamous reputation.

"I never was discharged from ANBU." He replied cryptically, allowing her to interpret that as she wished to. Technically, he was still in the middle of a mission instigated by the Sandaime, and it would only end with his life. It was simple, really; infiltrate the Akatsuki, then feed Konoha information through Jiraya. It was created only so he could remain useful to the village after the massacre, and it helped reinforce the facade that he was evil. Sasuke seemed to buy it, at least. That was all he needed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She whined, poking the tattoo again. He frowned, unsure of what he should tell her. It meant as he implied; though Itachi was listed in every published bingo book as an S-class criminal, the truth of the matter was, he was still a registered ANBU captain. It was unnecessary to remove the tattoo.

"There is much you do not know about your village. Your jonin sensei was wise in telling you to look beneath the underneath." He told her after a pregnant pause, crossing his arms to brace the night cold. She huffed to herself, then decided to ignore him. Itachi knew that she was hoping that he would leave peacefully after a while, but he, however, had no such intention in leaving merely because she payed him no attention.

"You were crying earlier. Is there a particular reason for that?" He broke the silence. Her muscles tensed, and he knew this meant she had no desire to appease his curiosity.

Much to his surprise, she replied. "You Uchiha are a bunch of fucking assholes."

Itachi was at first offended, though he did not give her any reaction to prove this, until he realized something crucial. Sakura had included Sasuke in the insult, which could mean only one thing. Sakura had somehow made contact with his younger brother.

"I am going to assume you were angered by my foolish younger brother when finding him." He stated, watching as her head flipped around and her eyes flashed to his in fury. Itachi wondered if she was going to attack him again, and was amazed when she did not, and when tears started to spurt from her eyes instead.

"Yes, it was your goddamned brother, you prick! Do you know what that bastard did? He, like the stupid ass he is, fucking attacked me! I lived my life for him, I worked hard so I could be of some use to him, but he fucking attacks me! I hope that when he finally finds you, that you kill his dumb ass!" She ranted animatedly, her tears uncontrollable. Itachi listened to this, trying to remain unbiased, and found himself unsurprised, but disgusted at the same time.

If Sasuke had really attacked his own comrades, then he was no longer the boy he had sacrificed everything to save. Sasuke had lost his innocence, and the thought of Orochimaru being the one to corrupt him was saddening. This changed nothing though, and if nothing else, that was reason enough for him to die at his younger brother's hands, for failing him so miserably.

Her anger was lost as she continued, making way for grief. "Then, when I got home from that mission, I find out that my parents were killed in an explosion, courtesy of that damned blond terrorist. They were already fucking buried, and I was told that bastard blew them up in retaliation for killing Sasori. I never even got to say goodbye, or see them before they were buried."

At first, he had not understood why she was sharing so much with him, but now he did. Very few people understood how it felt to have their parents killed, and he did, though from the opposite side of the spectrum. He had been the one to kill his parents, so he knew fully well how it felt. Sasuke was probably the one who she wanted to talk to about this, but considering the fact that she was angry with him, and how stubborn she was as a person, she could not do that. Uzumaki was out of the picture, he would never understand how it felt to lose something he never had in the first place.

"If it is any consolation, I can comprehend how you feel, losing your parents. Though it must sound sick and twisted to you." He said softly, turning away from her glistening face to look up at the sky. He like clear nights such as these, it reminded him of the times he used to sit up on the roof in the Uchiha compound, when he did not have a care in the world.

"It is not twisted, it is _fucked up_. I am sure you understand, from that freak's point of view. Is there a little club reserved for disturbed bastards who think it is fine to murder people, or is that basically what Akatsuki is?" She shouted, her fury lashing out again. He had to hold down the urge to chuckle at this; Haruno Sakura seemed to be prone to being irrational. This was, of course, amusing to Itachi.

Instead, he sighed. "Most do not take pleasure in killing, Haruno, even within Akatsuki. It was much more personal to Deidara than you think. As far as I am aware, their relationship was more than platonic."

Her nose scrunched up in disgust, and Itachi could not have agreed more. The thought of two men joined together in the way Sasori and Deidara had been was somewhat disturbing, and to be frank, unnatural. After the idea sunk in, Sakura recalled what else he had said, that even Akatsuki did not enjoy taking the lives of other people. Itachi had left her to assume that, at length, he was not cold-hearted, like everyone liked to think.

"He killed my parents to avenge his dead lover?" She seethed, her beautiful and burning eyes meeting his impassive, black ones. He knew this was something that would displease her, but Itachi nodded his head anyway, as it was the truth. A frown marred her pale face, showing how much this new information irked her. Sakura said nothing though, instead following his gaze to the starry sky.

"Why here?" He asked softly. Sakura's eyes dropped to her hands, which were shaking with stress.

"The first time I came here, I was three years old. My mother brought me here for my birthday, and told me this tree was my gift. Apparently, she was the one to plant it as a child. My father had proposed to her under this tree, and because I was born in spring, and this tree was in full bloom, I was named '_Sakura._' When I became a genin, my mother took me here again, and told me that before I ever brought a man home to my family, I would have to bring hi here first. I feel closer to them here, under my tree, than in that damned cemetery."

This place was sacred to her, and Itachi was certain he was the first one she had ever sat with under the tree, besides her mother. He wondered if she had ever wanted to bring someone else there, his brother perhaps, but knew it would be pointless now. She was just as alone as himself. He refused to think of it as some sort of sign, he was undeserving of any such attention. He had no time to apologize for his intrusion though, because a moment later, Kisame emerged from the forest.

"Itachi! What the hell are you doing, sitting under a fuckin' tree? What did you need to ditch camp for, to think about that goddamned kunoichi again?" Kisame questioned, walking up to the tree. Itachi did not reply to this, nor did he look to gage Sakura's reaction. It was undoubtable that she would figure out she was _that goddamned kunoichi._ Kisame understood why his partner had seemingly ignored him when he got closer, because next to him sat the girl he presumed to be Haruno Sakura. Kisame nearly laughed, but held it in after the dark look he got from Itachi.

"Goodbye, Haruno. You should return to Konoha, unless you want someone else discovering your tree." He murmured, grabbing his cloak and standing. She sighed, following suite.

"You are different from I thought you would be, Uchiha. If you had never mercilessly massacred you entire clan and tortured my teammates for the past seven years, I wound not have minded knowing you better." She commented. Itachi blinked at her statement, and this time Kisame could not restrain the laughter as he patted the disgruntled Itachi on the back.

"I never expected your partner to be a ten-foot sardine either." She added smugly. Then she froze, as if she had come across an epiphany.

Itachi could not help it, with the comparison of Kisame to a sardine and the myriad of emotions she was displaying on her face as she figured out she was _that goddamned kunoichi_, Itachi let out a soft chuckle. Both Sakura and Kisame stared at him in shock, neither of them having expected to hear him display feeling.

"That was... enlightening. I have no doubt I will see you again, Uchiha, fish-face." Sakura mumbled, turning in the direction of Konoha to hide her embarrassment. She disappeared in a puff of smoke, bewildered by the entire encounter.

"You should have kissed her." Kisame stated, twisting around to return to their camp. Itachi sighed, having no retort to give.

**AN: Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

He was not supposed to see her ever again, but there she was, staring right back at him in utter shock. Itachi had been expecting Jiraya to meet him, as he was his usual informant, but the kunoichi was the one to meet him in the hotel instead. This was going to change everything, he already knew. His cover was blown.

Sakura was the first to break the silence that formed when she stepped into the hotel room. "Uchiha... are you really Jiraiya-sama's contact in Akatsuki?" She asked carefully. For all she knew, he had figured out there was a spy within his organization's ranks, and had intercepted him. This, however, was not the case; he was Konoha's spy. Itachi was tempted to run along with this idea, but decided against it, since it was necessary to relay the information he had.

"I am," he sighed tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose to fight the oncoming headache. Jiraiya had never sent someone else to meet him in his place, so why would he now? Of all the people he had to send, it had to be the kunoichi, of course. She looked at him curiously, her doe-like eyes begging for some sort of explanation. It would not make sense to her that he gave away information on Akatsuki to _Konoha_, of all places, as she did not know the truth of that night.

She closed the door to the hotel suite, then stepping closer to sit across from him at the table. Sakura seemed to struggle with what she needed to say, but managed to get it out. "Why would someone who betrayed their village ever want to _help _it?" She finally asked weakly. There was a perfect answer to this, but he could never tell it. She would have to figure it out for herself.

"It is unnecessary for me to remove my ANBU tattoo." He instead replied cryptically. Sakura frowned, remembering Itachi to have said something similar in their previous meeting. She did not seem to decipher his meaning, so Itachi continued. "I only do as I am ordered to, Haruno."

Suddenly, Itachi realized why Haruno Sakura had come to meet him instead of Jiraiya. Kisame was not the only one who liked to badger him about finding a woman. That mischievous sannin must have set this up purposefully, but Itachi had no idea how Jiraiya had even figured out about his knowing Sakura.

"It would not make sense for Akatsuki to order you to feed us information, Uchiha." She retorted at last. This was true enough, unless Akatsuki wanted to give false information to confuse its enemies. Even then, it did not make sense for Akatsuki to risk themselves; it did not fit their profile to make contact with anyone. "If your stupid club did not order you to, then who did? Konoha?" She bit sarcastically.

Itachi did not reply, instead slipping off his Akatsuki cloak so she could take a look at his ANBU tattoo again. He was intentionally making the connection between ANBU, Akatsuki and the fact that he always followed orders. In all honesty, he was breaking an oath to secrecy by sharing this much with Sakura, but something made him want to. Kisame was the only one aware that Itachi had not wanted to kill his family, but he did not know everything. It had taken years to reach that point, but Itachi was becoming restless, held back by secrets and conspiracy.

He now found himself not wanting to be alone for the last year or so he had left. He felt guilty still, he had still murdered his family, and nothing could ever excuse that, even orders. He was not the crooked criminal that he played out to be though. Sasuke would kill him thinking that, but he trusted sakura was capable of keeping a secret. Konoha owed him that much; It could not hurt for someone to know, for someone to sympathize. It did not go along his original plans, but it would not hinder them either.

She suddenly gasped, as if she was finally understanding something. He wondered if she had figured it out already, if that was really all he needed to say and do for her to deduce his reasons for massacring the Uchiha clan. He had greatly underestimated her mind then, if this were the case. She must have made the connection though, because her shoulders slumped in dejection, tears threatening to burst. Itachi wondered if she was really about to cry for _him_, or if it was for his brother's benefit, and the unnecessary escapades he was embarking on.

"They put you up to that? Those bastards made a thirteen year old child kill his own family?" She asked quietly, her voice shaking with her tears. Warmth he could not easily place surged through him, she _was_ crying for him, and for what he could tell, it was something very real to her. He stood up from the table, moving around it to squat next to her, his bewilderment clear. She was a kunoichi, so she should not have been so easily swayed to tears, no matter how tragic the situation.

"You cry. Why is that?" He asked softly. Not really sure if she would react badly to it, he reached his hand up to her face, wiping a tear away with the pad of his thumb. She caught that hand, much to his surprise, and held it to her own cheek. It was unusual, almost foreign for someone to touch him in such a non-violent way. That was not to say he did not like it.

"I am crying because you cannot. If you could, you would be." She replied through deep gulps of air and sobs that shook her entire frame. Itachi let out a long, unsettled breath, his body acting on buried instinct, wrapping a confident arm around her. He had only allowed himself to cry once, on the night he had slaughtered his family. The memories that followed his running from Konoha were vague, clouded by tears and _weakness_.

"I have forgotten how." He replied quietly, his voice only just above a whisper. Itachi leaned his cheek onto her forehead, and for the first time in a long while, he felt utterly broken. It was not shameful, the way he felt his heart clench with pain and years of loneliness, though he supposed it should have been. The guilt and sorrow he had been hiding for years finally round its way out, washing over him in thick waves, almost drowning him.

"Even the best of shinobi remember how to cry, Uchiha. You simply will not allow yourself to, you hide it deep inside, forgetting about your _need _to cry, not the ability." She whispered, cinching closer to him, instinctively seeking to console him. He did not reject this as he should have, but instead squeezed onto her like a lifeline. He could not forget how to cry, and for once in a long time, he wanted to give into his own fragility, and let himself break. It felt as if it would be okay if she was there when he broke down, and he saw it as necessary. He never wanted to feel as utterly alone as he had on that terrible night.

"What could possibly go wrong if you let it out, Uchiha? Are you afraid I am going to tell someone that you _cried?_ You are a human being, and you need to start treating yourself as such." She then told him, more strength and demand in her tone.

"I am no human, Haruno. What sort of murder is?" This was true. His life had morphed from events in his past, skewing his vantage point on civilization and the human race, and turning him into an irrational monster. With what he had done, he never deserved to have what he desired.

"You are _human_, Uchiha. You feel pain and guilt, and no monster could ever sense this for killing." She said, pausing for only a moment before asking, "Why did they make you do it?"

The effects of that simple question was similar to a dam cracking, and after so much pressure behind it, it allowing for the water to crash through. Emotions he did not recall having overwhelmed him, and at first, Itachi could not even speak in response. Nothing inside him could hold it back, and with his previous restraints lost, these emotions reacted with his body. He was not able to stop it before a tear slipped through his defenses and slid down his face, landing on her head.

Sakura must have sensed that the barriers that had held him together were gone, because she swiveled in his hold, not stopping until she was facing him. Sounds he had not known he was even capable of making escaped from deep in his lungs, reverberating his chest, and he held her closer, knowing that this time, at least he was not alone. Sakura shushed him softly, watching through the depths of his black eyes as he saw the massacre again.

She was glad he was willing to show this to her, to allow himself to crumble under his self-pity and misery, because it was the first step to recovering. It took a while for Itachi to calm himself enough to speak, and by the time he had, he was filled with shame. He should have been over this, but even years after, he could not stop himself from crying like a child. What was worse, Sakura had seen him in that pathetic state. She had remained with him the entire time though, soothing circles into his back.

The last time someone had done that for him, he had been barely over the age of a toddler, and it had been his mother to do it. Now Sakura was there in her place, holding him tightly, and letting him hold her back. What he had done to deserve it, he had no idea.

Calm again, Itachi made to answer her question. He took his time though, knowing it would shake the very foundations she lived on.

"This all started long before either of us were born, or our parents, for that matter. Konoha originally was two clans, later to be joined by others, but in the beginning, it had only been the Uchiha and Senju. We had been equally strong then, and naturally, we had been rivals with each other. The Senju specialized in earth and water jutsu, while we had our fire jutsu and Sharingan."

"Back then, the shinobi world had been in an almost constant state of war, with not a moment of peace. The Uchiha clan had always been a skewed clan, with a very cynical view of the world. With violence coming at us from all sides, the clan stooped lower than they cared to admit. Children were trained at a very young age to become emotionless killers with no regrets. This much about the Uchiha never changed, even when Konoha was formed."

He knew this information was mostly common knowledge, and that she already knew most of it from studying in the ninja academy, but there was more, and what he had said so far was the base of his story.

"Uchiha were already a powerful clan as it was, prosperous and infinitely strong, their only real competition being the Senju. This however changed, when Uchiha Madara, and then his younger brother Izuna, were born. They were close in age, and often competing to see who of the two was stronger. They developed their Sharingan at an unusually young age, even for back then, much like how I had. Madara, as the eldest, pushed their boundaries, until they discovered the Mangekyo Sharingan."

"Though I am not sure what their reasons for doing so were, Madara and Izuna both were pulled into a brawl with two of their closest companions. After a gruesome battle, the brothers had both killed whom they cared for most, and were given a new light in their Sharingan. They were the first of many Uchiha to develop the Mangekyo, by killing their best friend."

At this, Sakura gasped, her eyes widening in horror. Itachi sighed softly, knowing she was beginning to realize how disturbed his clan really was. "That was how you got yours too?" She asked carefully. At this, he could only nod his head, and watch her face as it contorted in shock and slight disgust.

"Not long after gaining this new power, their father, and current head of the Uchiha clan, was killed in battle. As the heir, it was Madara's duty to claim control, and so he built the clan up higher, his brother second in command. With the years of fighting adding up however, the Uchiha clan was growing unsatisfied with Madara's tactics. They did as they were ordered by the new head though, until meeting what should have been the final battle between Senju and Uchiha."

"Before this battle ever took place though, Madara had found for himself the singular glitch in the Mangekyo Sharingan. After constant use, it slowly starts to seal away the light it had once provided, until rendering the user completely blind. Madara might have been afraid, or simply gone crazy with his dimming sight, but eventually he did the only thing he could think of to regain light. Steal his Izuna's eyes."

Her disgust at hearing this grew, and he did not blame her. It was a disturbing thought that someone could take another's eyes for their own benefit, but it was how the Uchiha had once worked. Even thinking about his clan's disturbing past agitated his natural passive attitude. He continued on though, speaking in the same quiet tone as always.

"When he implanted his brother's eyes, Madara had regained a light that would never fade, and he then led the Uchiha against the Senju for a final battle. He had pitted himself against Senju Hashirama, who at the time was head of his clan, and would later become the first Hokage. Hashirama did not want to fight Madara however, and reached out his hand for peace. Madara did not want to do so, but when the entire clan supported the idea, he could do nothing but accept the offer made."

"Wars slowed, and when the peace had resumed for a few years, Hashirama came to suggest the Senju and Uchiha build a shinobi village. With his brother dead, and support gone, Madara had to give in to the Uchiha's demand to form the village. He left shortly after it was built, cursing the Uchiha clan for rejecting him. They lived on happily under Hashirama's reign as Hokage, quickly forgetting Madara's halfhearted threats to get revenge."

"Peace was only short lived though, as the older generation died, and were replaced by the younger. The new members of Uchiha were unsatisfied by the fact that the Senju had control over Konoha as Hokage. Nidaime attempted to appease them when he founded the Konoha police, setting the Uchiha in charge of this department. This seemed to work for a time, at least until my father became head of the clan."

"My father, Uchiha Fugaku, had been a very old fashioned sort of man, and so when I was born, he began training me when I was able to walk. He believed in the Uchiha tradition of emotionless killing machines, and so that was what I was forced into becoming. When I was very young, the third shinobi war broke out with Suna, and I was pressured into using my ingrained skills. At the age of four, Konoha was attacked, and I had made my first kill."

When hearing this, Sakura's disgust was forgotten, and quickly replaced with sympathy. She, much like him, seemed to favor peace, despite her violent tendencies. She squeezed her arms around him, trying to give some sort of comfort.

"I had been more terrified that day than any before, and after seeing so much blood, I never wanted to kill again. My father had been pleased though, proclaiming me as the pride of the Uchiha clan. After that, even though it had only been out of chance and self-preservation, he pushed me even more into becoming the perfect Uchiha heir."

"A year later, the Kyuubi had attacked Konoha, only to be sealed within Uzumaki Naruto by the Yondaime. The Uchiha clan, because of our ability to control the Kyuubi, was quickly blamed for the attack, though we were uninvolved. The Uchiha clan was then contained in a compound, separating us from the rest of the village. This was no doubt the final straw, after being denied involvement in the government of Konoha, and so they had been enraged."

"Instead of approaching the Sandaime though, they planned to overrun the ruling system instead. I was kept ignorant of this for a long time, never sure of why my father pressured me to join ANBU so hard. However, when I did make it into ANBU, it became very clear to me. He wanted me to give inside information on the Hokage so they could prepare a coup. He was my father; I dared not disobey him, at least not to his face. I did the only thing I could think of, as a thirteen year old boy, and I sought out the Sandaime's assistance."

"Sarutobi did what he could to reach out to the Uchiha clan, but they were stubborn, and unaware that I was feeding the Hokage information on their movements, instead of spying as I should have been. While Sarutobi wanted the peace between us to resume, there was nothing he could do to pacify the Uchiha. His advisors, Danzo most of all, were very militaristic, and thought that the tainted clan, and their troublesome frustration should be eradicated entirely. He did not originally agree with this."

"However, as months passed, and it slowly became more clear that the Uchiha clan had every intention in revolting, he had no choice but to give the order. He still wanted the peace to last, but as he realized the village would fall into a civil war if the Uchiha clan was not stopped, the Sandaime knew he had to assign the mission. He could not allow our rebellion to cause damage to Konoha, and for thousands of innocent lives, civilian and shinobi alike, to be slaughtered. With almost as much regret as I had, he told me to kill every member of my clan, down to the very last infant."

"I accepted my mission, and steeled my heart, but there was someone who I could not kill, no matter how long I mentally prepared myself." He whispered, his voice slowing with stress. Sakura already knew who that was, of course.

"Sasuke. You could not kill him." Sakura stated softly. He nodded his head.

"No, I could not." He agreed. "He was the future, and he was innocent. I could not kill him, not after seeing what he would eventually become. I had been blinded, apparently, hoping that he would turn out as I wanted him, and not suspecting he would become so desperate as to run off. I was young, ignorant and hopeful, wishing to save at least one thing. I returned to the Hokage that night, and begged that he protected Sasuke. He agreed, and a few days later, I murdered the entire clan."

"I was deported after, and sent on an espionage mission that would end only when my life did. They ordered me to keep tabs on Akatsuki, and to get closer, I ended up joining." Itachi finished. He watched as she thought to herself, no doubt processing his long, and through story. This was the first time he had ever told the entire story, and he had to admit it was harder to do than he ever thought it would be. Of course, he had not included everything, like how Madara was still alive, and had helped him with the massacre.

"You are a good storyteller." She finally said thoughtfully. "It was as if I saw everything in my head as you described it."

There was a short silence that followed, before she continued in asking, "Does Jiraiya already know everything?"

Itachi replied with a curt nod. That damned sannin. If Sasuke never stepped up, Itachi was sure that pervert was going to be the death of him. Almost every time they regrouped, he was scolding him for not having a woman. Itachi would roll his eyes every time it was brought up, and chuckle uncharacteristically. Then they would continue with what they were supposed to be doing.

"Yes, he does. Now that you have broken down all my defenses, we should start getting down to business."

...

When Itachi went to meet with Jiraiya the next time, he was uncertain of what to expect. After what that damned Sannin had pulled last time, he would not be surprised if he had dragged along that Uzumaki kid with him. Now _that _would be interesting... and a complete mess. He could only imagine what the kyuubi would do if he found out the truth.

Thankfully, when the door opened this time, it was that sneaky, perverted sannin, instead of whoever else it could have been. Itachi frowned when Jiraiya smirked, as if he thought what happened two weeks ago was simply _hilarious_. Itachi had no doubt that Jiraiya knew everything that happened, and that he had been watching them somehow. Perhaps the man had been hoping for some sort of inspiration for the smutty excuse of books that he wrote.

"I knew you could use a woman." He said smugly. Itachi grimaced at the implications, but did not deny it, which did not get past Jiraiya.

"How did you know I was interested in Haruno Sakura?" Itachi asked stonily. They had only met twice before the time he had broken down in front of her, and he doubted Sakura would want to advertise the fact that she had civilized conversations with him while she should have been trying to attack him. Everyone she knew would look down on her for that, and Itachi knew that was not something she wanted to deal with.

"I did not, until now, of course. I just so happened to catch her digging through your file, muttering something along the lines of, 'Uchiha men think they are all that just because they are so goddamned hot, with their stupid perfect skin, dark eyes and silky hair.' Whatever you did to catch the attention of a girl at her level, keep it up." Jiraiya said, giving the cool man a thumbs up. Itachi only blinked. Haruno Sakura had, if only to herself, called him 'hot'? He was uncertain of what to think of that.

"I was not aware she thought of me like that." Itachi murmured thoughtfully. He knew very well of how much she had once been infatuated with his younger brother, and so he could not help but to wonder if her attraction, if that was what it was, was due to her former obsession with Sasuke. For some reason, that thought disgusted him. If Haruno Sakura had any interest in him, he wanted it to because of who he was, not because of who his brother was. Not that he wanted her to be interested at all. Not really, anyway.

"Well, she apparently does. I would be careful though, do not break her heart. She is too much like her instructor in that she has the tendency to go violent when displeased. Sakura is literally a miniature Tsunade." Jiraiya shuddered, as if remembering something that had happened to him, and that it had not been particularly pleasant. Itachi was already aware of her moods though, and was unsurprised by this set of news.

"I have no intention in getting involved with Haruno. Such a relationship could only end with hurt, and I would not wish that upon anyone. She deserves better." Itachi replied with a huff. Jiraiya, sighed disapprovingly, and Itachi could tell he was disappointed that he was not taking the opportunity he had been given. Itachi was not going to take advantage of Sakura though, because he still had every intention in letting Sasuke kill him. If he entered a relationship, his significant other would be crushed when his time came.

"I will never understand you, Uchiha. Here, and I have given you the perfect time to get yourself a girl. Do you really think a girl like Sakura will _really _let you get away? If she is anything like Tsunade, then _she _will come for _you_. There is no point in this dallying around."

"If that be the case, then she is going to be disappointed. I cannot let her involve herself in me, and it is unnecessary for you to do anything more for my personal life, Jiraiya-san. Thank you for the kind thought." Itachi said in resolution. Jiraiya sighed, as if he had nothing to say, and shaking his head as if he would find out for himself.

With that, Itachi's attitude left not room for argument, and Jiraiya had nothing to do but to continue with the mission he was on. He would indeed, see what Jiraiya meant.

...

Itachi was not sure why, but it was as much of a surprise as it had been the first time, when two weeks after giving Jiraiya his report, it was Sakura to walk in again. The only assumption he could make was that the scheming sannin was behind it again.

She looked somewhat angry this time, because she quickly opened the door and then slammed it behind her, then stomped straight up to the table. There was a decided glare on her face, and both sides of her lips were being dragged down into a small frown. He was not sure why she was so furious, and he wondered to himself if it had something to do with him. Had she had enough of him in their last meeting? Did she not want to be there with him?

If this were so, it was probably for the best, no matter how he felt on the matter. A month had passed since he saw her, and two weeks since seeing Jiraiya. That month, the last two weeks of it especially, Itachi had been thinking of her almost constantly. It was pathetic, he knew as much, but for some reason, he found himself attracted to her. In the very depths of his mind, he knew that he did not want her to leave without so much as a look at him, but it was better that she did not see him for the man he was.

When he died, Itachi did not want to leave behind bonds that would continuously harm someone, Sakura least of all. Perhaps that was what she had heard, and was now angry because of. Had Jiraiya told her what he said previously?

He watched curiously as she pushed aside the table he was sitting at, then kneeled down next to him. He had no time to ask what she was so upset over, because a second later, she pressed a dainty finger on his chest. Jiraiya was right, and Itachi had no doubt now; Sakura was exactly like her teacher. A violent woman, especially when scorned.

"I do not know who decide _you _were calling all the shots here, but that is not how I work. You may be the hotshot Uchiha, but I am not going to let you even think you can get away with this, without even consulting me, and my feelings." She growled, a flare of chakra expelling from that slender finger she had on his chest. It did not hurt per se, but he did not like the strange sensation either.

"I have not the slightest idea of what you speak, Haruno. What happened to Jiraiya that he is incapable of coming himself?" He asked. She blushed slightly, then turned her face away in embarrassment.

"I asked if I could go in your place, then he told me all the shit you said. I will not accept that, Uchiha." She replied with a huff, still slightly embarrassed. She seemed unwilling to share exactly what she was talking about, and instead remain vague. It seemed that he was just going to have to guess what she was talking about.

The only thing that really came to mind was the conversation he had with Jiraiya last time he saw him. It never occurred to him that the perverted sannin would ever relay what he said to Sakura. Now, however, it seemed that he had. So she must have been angry over his refusal to become more attached to her. Surely she must have understood why he felt as he did, but now he supposed she did not.

"Haruno, any relationship that formed between us would never last. Besides, last I knew, you where pining over my little brother. Are you truly prepared to leave him behind?" He asked softly. Sakura blanched, just as he knew she would. He was slightly surprised she had completely forgotten about Sasuke, knowing how obsessed she had been.

"Listen to me, Uchiha," She finally said. "Your brother broke me. He left me to join Orochimaru, knocking me out and leaving me on a cold bench in the middle of the night. He has no feelings for me, and mine have become void. I want nothing to do with Sasuke, and for once, I am going to get what I desire. And that just so happens to be you this time."

"What you want from me I can never give. I will never settle down with a wife to have children, and live happily for the rest of my life. My days are already numbered, and when Sasuke comes for me, I have no intention in defeating him. I do not want for you to get hurt when that happens." Itachi whispered. Her face lit up with surprise, and he could feel the rejection she felt. He hated to do it to her, but all he could keep telling himself was that it was for the best.

"Answer one question for me, Uchiha. Do you want me as much as I want you, or am I just following a man blindly, never seeing he does not feel for me as I do for him?" She slowly asked, her eyes starting to form tears. Itachi could not lie to her, and he knew it as soon as she had asked her question. Truthfully, he did want her to be his, and only his.

"Haruno, this is not possible. I am going to die at Sasuke's hand, even if I do feel attracted to you. It will never work between us." He replied in earnest. She thought for a moment.

"But you do feel something for me."

"Yes."

"Then that is all that matters."

Almost unsure of herself, Sakura reached up to wrap both arms around his neck, pulling their bodies closer together; so close that her breasts pressed flat against his chest. He knew what was going to happen next, but for some reason, he could not force himself to stop it. No, instead, he was the one to crash his lips down on hers, astonishing her.

Her lips were soft against his, and his hand reached up to hold her in place from behind her neck. She did not protest, and the tears that had been in her eyes never fell. What he was doing, he knew would backlash at him later on, but then and there, he decide for once, he was going to do something for himself. Sakura was right, after all, he was human, and if he had learned one thing throughout his life, it was that humans were a very selfish species.

Itachi's mouth could not be kept there in one place, and so it slowly fluttered down her neck, giving lingering kisses as it went. He wanted to kiss every inch of her body, just for making her feel so alive. Slowly, he returned to her mouth, pausing when he reached there. A moment later, his tongue traced along the seam of her lips, begging for her to let him in.

Her lips slowly parted, and he slid his tongue in to dance with hers in a timeless fight for dominance. Everything about her tasted like sugar, and with his sweet tooth, Itachi knew he needed more. He angled his mouth so he could reach in farther, drinking in her breath and soft groans of appreciation.

He felt her fingers comb through his long hair, and when he knew she was having a hard time breathing, he released her, instead sucking determinedly on her bottom lip. Her gasps were soft and feminine, if it were even possible, and when he finally had his fill, that was the only thing she could do. Gasp for air.

"My name is Itachi. So call me that." He murmured, reaching down again. He could feel her small smile against his lips as he kissed her.

**AN: There will be one more chapter after this one. I do not know though... I feel somewhat unsatisfied with how this one turned out. Let me know what you think about it. I know I put up a lemon warning for this fic, and so do not worry. That should be coming up in the next chapter. REVIEW! ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

Loving Sakura, slowly but surely, was killing him. It was beautiful, in every moment them managed to share, but it was too much. When he had at first objected to involving himself with another person, he had been considering only that person. Itachi never thought the effects on him would be so catastrophic. The problem was, he _did _love her, no matter how many times he had inwardly warned himself on the matter.

The main complication was not how they had to remain utterly secretive, nor how they had to sneak away from their duties to be together. It was because he could see himself living his entire life with her, and being happy about it. Most would see nothing wrong with this, would consider him lucky for finding such a woman. There _was _a problem though. The _living _problem.

He had vowed years before that his entire life would not mean anything to anyone but Sasuke. Sasuke was going to kill him, and then he would be gone. He had never told Sakura his plan to let Sasuke have his precious revenge, but he was almost certain that she knew.

Sakura was a very happy sort of person, despite the difficulties she had faced, and it war rare when she let something truly get her down. Sometimes though, when she thought he was not looking, he could see a troubled, almost hurt expression on her face. I never needed to be said, and based on how well she knew his character, she could assume what he intended to do.

Itachi was not the sort of man to say pointless things, and she had learned this fact early on in their affair. For him to urge Sasuke to kill him one day; it was indication enough to know that was what he aimed for. Yet, they said nothing of his impending death to one another, both having rather think of more pleasant things. Still, it was slowly creeping up on him, and Sakura dreaded the thought that they would never be more than what they were.

It was his guilt, and she knew how much it ate away at him. Itachi felt guilty for killing his family, for leaving Sasuke behind to suffer in loneliness, for joining a criminal organization and committing crimes for their purposes, and even for loving her. Itachi never told her as much, but she knew very well how tortured her lover really was. Though he had an uncanny gift with masking his emotions, he could not hide everything, least of all from her.

It was the times when he thought she was already asleep, their shamelessly naked bodies curled together, that he showed his pain to her. Sakura was well aware of the fact he suffered from insomnia, even though he never told her about it. She was afraid to bring it up with him, because she was sure that he was punishing himself. It was not her place to butt in, and he would never want that. When he wanted her help though, she would be there for him.

He would kiss the bare skin of her shoulder, slowly breathing in her unmistakable scent. It was a gentle gesture, and he would sigh to himself. Sometimes, it was no more than that, that small, sad sigh. Occasionally though, he would apologize to her for what they were doing, thinking she was deep in slumber. Sakura never accepted his soft, guilty apologies, because she did not regret what they were doing. She refused to give up on him, and pretended she never heard him.

They would continue meeting for quite some time, none of their acquaintances ever suspecting that they were involved with each other. Jiraiya knew, naturally, as he was the one to set them up, and Kisame had a feeling that Itachi was involved with _someone_, though who, he had no idea.

Sakura had, so they could meet more often, begged Jiraiya to let her take up his job in meeting with the Uchiha. He had agreed with her without too much persuasion required. Jiraiya knew what they were doing, and he often teased Sakura for it, making her friends curious. It never came out though, and Kakashi never came to question _why_ his innocent student could be found with a certain Sharingan wielding criminal in excerpts of Icha Icha, so she hoped that meant she was safe.

She had no idea what she could even do if the secret _did _come out into the open. So many people would be infuriated with her. Naruto, who did not know that Itachi had no real intention in getting the Kyuubi from him, would feel so betrayed. If news of it ever reached Sasuke's ears, she would be downright dead. He would kill her, and she had no doubt of that.

There were other people who would be hurt with her choice to love Uchiha Itachi, of course. Lee had yet to give up on winning her hand, Ino was her best friend, and believed in sharing everything with one another, and Tsunade was her shishou, but the hokage over that. She would expect her loyal apprentice to turn in the nefarious man without a second thought. Kakashi too, would be hurt by her choosing him over them, though he would never show as much.

Sakura risked this though, because considering how things with her secret lover were going, their relationship would end, still buried under their noses, when Itachi gave up his life for the sake of his younger brother. She refused to think too much on this though, her heart so full of love for him to care.

The journey she made every two weeks was short, and as she did twice monthly, Sakura checked into an out-of-the-way hotel. Sakura smiled to herself upon walking up the stairs to the second floor, already sensing his familiar chakra. Itachi always got there before she did, since they were closer to Ame then they were to Konoha.

He was sitting calmly at the table in the hotel room, sipping a cup of tea when she walked in. Itachi set down the cup, steadily getting to his feet, then walking to meet her where she stood. Sakura closed the door behind her, smiling brightly to him, just as she did whenever they met. He returned it with an awkward, small smile of his own, his lips curved upwards unevenly.

Sakura practically jumped up at him, crushing her lips to his, and her arms wrapping around his neck and her hands untying his silky, long hair. Itachi was not surprised by this, in fact, he would have been more shocked if she had _not _pounced on him in desperation. She hated been separate for such a long period of time, and he knew it. He sadly wondered what she would do if she knew this could very easily be the last time they saw each other. Then again, there was always that chance when they met.

Itachi shifted his arms around her, lifting her slender body up to his level. His cloak already abandoned before she had even entered the room, Sakura subtly searched his muscular body for any sort of injury. Itachi knew what she was doing, and was already used to it. He may have been an S-class criminal, but he was far from immortal. The first thing a missing-nin always learned was that there was always someone stronger than them out there.

Once he assumed she was satisfied with her search, Itachi let his lips wander the soft skin of her neck, tracing them along her jawline, nibbling on her ear, and sucking at her pulse insistently. He loved the feel of how her pulse would jump with everything he did, and even if his tongue was not lapping at the spot, he could easily hear it pounding in her chest.

She gasped softly at his persistence, not objecting to it for a moment. It was unusual for him to do this before they got business over with, but change was welcomed. He observed with dark, hazed eyes as a healthy, dark blush painted across her cheeks. It would be unsurprising if she realized he was putting off their mission duties for later, but he did not particularly care.

Itachi did not want to think about what he had to tell her, because she would have been hurt by the news. He was going to have to tell her eventually, but not until it was absolutely necessary. Until then, he was perfectly content with what he was doing. He needed her, to make love to her without a care in the world, to feel utterly free for the last time in his short, lonely life.

There was so many things he wanted to do right then, though it was not entirely possible to do so. He wanted to tear ever piece of clothing she had off and take her in desperation. God, he wanted to make her _scream _in pleasure, so maybe she would remember what it felt like to truly make love. He wanted her to think of him when he was gone, to be reminded of him when some other, nameless man became her lover.

At the same time, he wanted to cry. Everything he loved was not his anymore, and he was beginning to fear that it had never belonged to him to begin with. He loved Sakura, but that did not matter enough to change anything. He loved his life, now that he had Sakura in it, but it was something that had always been timed. Itachi should have been happy that he had even gotten the chance to know what it was like to be with a woman.

He wished he could be angry with Sasuke, but that was not fair. It was his own fault this was happening to him. Sasuke did not force him to massacre their clan, even if it had been partially for his sake, nor did Sasuke push him to love Sakura; that was all him. He was paying for his crimes, and in the end, Sakura was going to suffer for his mistakes right alongside him. That was what he regretted more than anything.

Urgently, Itachi started to lead her to the futons, blindly throwing them on the ground, then pressing her body into them. She must have sensed that something was amiss, not that he was doing a good job of hiding that fact. Sakura squirmed beneath his larger body, putting a hand against his chest to stop him. He paused, panting, looking down at her in confusion.

Her features contorted in bewilderment and concern. He had never acted this way around her before, so he supposed he should have expected this sort of reaction out of her. "Itachi, what is going on? What is wrong?" She asked softly, catching her breath.

His expression turned blank, but this was not enough for her to give up. Itachi should have known that she would be able to notice when something was off, especially when he had not hidden it at all. "There is nothing wrong." He insisted, dipping down again to capture her lips. Sakura tilted her face away, and his mouth made contact with the fair skin of her cheek instead.

"That was a lie if I ever heard one." She replied smartly. He sighed, that same, small sigh he made when she should have been sleeping, but was not. Sakura was too damn perceptive for her own good. He did not reply to this, instead searching for her lips again. He was upset, and understandably so. He needed to feel that warm safety shared with another person when all defenses were dropped, but Sakura was not allowing him to get away with it.

She sat up, pushing him off entirely with a small, dainty hand. She did not move away from him completely though, she raised a hand to his cheek carefully, holding his attention. "Tell me what happened, Itachi." Sakura whispered cautiously. He could see it scared her to see him so distressed, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Itachi could only relent. "Sasuke has killed Orochimaru." He finally murmured, his glance falling to his lap, unable to meet hers. She did not seem to understand what this really meant.

"That is great! He can finally come home, and-

"He has no intention of returning to Konoha, Sakura." He quietly interrupted her. She frowned at this, and he silently watched as she thought over this. She was slow though, and did not appear to come to any conclusion that was close to the truth. Itachi decided to help her along. "He is forming a team of his own, consisting of otonin." He added.

Reality struck. He looked in her eyes, comprehension dawning. _This was their last time together._

She was a smart woman, and he knew it. He never had to tell her that he was allowing Sasuke to get his petty revenge, it was just something unsaid but understood. Tears welled, then when she could hold them back no longer, they trickled down her cheeks, leaving little tracks of red in their wake.

Just seeing her cry made him want to do the same. He held it back though, gently pressing her back down into a laying position, sadly dropping his mouth down to hers. This time, she allowed it, kissing him back just as frantically. They wanted it to last forever, their soft touches and sweet kisses, but life was not so kind. Karma had come around and it was time for him to repay his debts.

Never moving his lips from her, Itachi unzipped her vest, then untied her bound breasts. She did not stop crying, but reached up to tug his netted shirt over his head anyway. It was difficult to do this, with how her hands shook, but she managed. Slowly, kisses soft and mournful, the clothes were taken from their bodies, until there was nothing between them at all.

Itachi stared down at her naked form, almost hesitant to do anything. He wanted to drink in how she looked then, unashamed and needy. Hopefully, these brief memories would be enough to last him the eternity he would spend alone in hell. He was not too concerned about going to hell, it was what he deserved, and he had been suffering his own living hell since he massacred his clan. Sakura had been a short, blissful break from that.

She stared right back up at him, almost as if she were waiting for him to speak. He had nothing to say though, and neither did she. His hands scored her body, molding her pliable skin with expertise, and listening to the soft sounds she made in response.

He had not wanted it to be like this the last time they joined each other. It should have been special, something worth remembering. He could not smile down at her though, and she would not try to console him with one of her own. She was too distressed herself. Itachi made do with listening to her groan and sob, not even opening his eyes to look at her. He felt sick with despair.

Yet, he went forward. Large hands with long, slender fingers slowly inched down her legs, stopping at her knees. Without any hesitation, he wrenched her legs apart, appraising her when the spicy scent of her arousal hit his nose. Liquids already dripped down the inside of her thighs, her core quivering in anticipation.

Kissing the falling tears from her face, he lowered himself closer to her opening. Not being particularly gentle about it, he glided in, grunting at the sensation of her warmth surrounding him, and the tightness of her walls nearly pulling him in farther. He retraced himself though, then thrusting himself back in. Her pleased groan sounded throughout the entire room.

He would rather listen to that beautiful sound of her voice than anything else. It pained him to think this was the last time he would ever be so close to her. He had never been all that good with people, but that connection formed when making love to Sakura was more wonderful than anything. He was completely vulnerable to her, but he was perfectly fine. Itachi liked how open she made him feel, and he knew Sakura felt the same.

Her tears were eventually forgotten as they both succumbed to their lust. He was satisfied with the fact that she was no longer crying, and with her urgings, quickened his pace. He grunted softly to himself when he heard her sweet voice cry his name in ecstasy. Her nails dug deeper into the muscles of his back every time their hips collided.

Itachi listened silently as her voice became more shrill with every thrust. She was nearing her limit, and if he knew himself, he also knew that he would reach his as soon as she had. Suddenly, her back arched into him, her breasts pressing flat into the sweaty skin of his hard chest. Sakura screamed in exhilaration for one last time.

Her walls closed in around him entirely, convulsing around his thick length more tightly than he could stand for. Itachi let out a near-silent gasp in reaction to her milking him, his hot, sticky seed spewing into her, filling her cavern to the brim. Knowing he was too heavy for her, though desperately needing to collapse, Itachi slid himself out, then flopped bonelessly next to her.

Her breathing was heavy, her body covered with sweat and making it glisten. Lazily sated after the strenuous lovemaking, he wrapped two strong arms around her torso, pulling her closer to him. Sakura held him back, her breathing calming itself, and she reached up to mindlessly play with his black hair.

The silence lasted for what could have been hours, not that either could tell. Sakura was the first to speak, breaking the comfortable, satisfied quiet that had settled itself over them. Her words shocked him, though if this was the last time that they were together as lovers, then he supposed it should not have.

"Itachi, make love to me again." Her voice murmured. It had not been a request, but a demand. And Itachi knew it.

"I know." He whispered back, rolling back over her slender form to begin a second round.

Itachi sighed, looking up from the woman curled up next to him, deep asleep, to see the sky beginning to lighten. They had not spoken much to one another the entire night, most of it being said through actions. Now it was early morning, and they would soon part. He had not spent any of their last night together sleeping, not that Sakura _had_. She had only been asleep for an hour or two, and she would undoubtedly sleep for another entirely. He could not blame her; he had throughly exhausted his little lover.

He was not quite sure why he had done it, perhaps to burn her into his memory permanently, but he looked at her with his Sharingan. He blinked in disbelief with what he saw, a new wave of guilt washing over him. There were a few times during their relationship that they had disregarded thought of protection, and so it was natural that this occurred. Still, the thought was unbearable.

_She was pregnant._

Itachi could tell that it had not been the night previous, though they had not used contraception then either. No, it was at least a month old, based on the amount of chakra cultivated there. How on earth could he have allowed this to happen?

Her heart was going to break when she discovered it for herself, because she already knew that he would not be there to help her raise their developing child. He wanted to watch that child, _his _child, form completely, to see it grow and be born, to hold her hand as she went into labor, and to help it become an adult one day. It was not possible though, and he was aware of that. Sasuke was already coming after him.

The idea of her laying on a hospital bed alone, giving birth to their child in an empty room nearly killed him. She was going to hate him for what she was going to endure because of him. He would never blame her if she did. What would their child think when he never had a father around to teach him? When he discovered why he had no father?

Much to Itachi's surprise, he felt moisture accumulate in his sharingan eyes. He was unable to stop the tears from falling, and could only hope Sakura did not wake up at the sound of him breaking down. He had done very well through the night, not even wanting to cry once after making love to her, or even when she initially fell asleep. Now, however, he had no control over himself.

"I am sorry, Sakura... so, so sorry. You never deserved something like this." He whispered, his voice shaking with distress. He could not believe this was happening. His last question; what was he going to do about this?

He observed her peaceful expression, considering the consequences if he told her. If she knew, he had no doubt she would ask him to give up his plan, which was not possible. Itachi did not want to see her in such pain, at least for as long as it was avoidable. No matter what happened, this situation was going to bring her only misery and bittersweet happiness.

He was uncertain if he was going to be able to deny her if she asked him to even postpone with his plan. With how unstable he was then, there was no telling what he could do. He was half tempted to leave then, while she was still asleep. Sakura had the uncanny gift of being able to tell when he was lying to her. It would be hard to hide something like this from her.

Itachi carefully unwrapped the arms he had around her body, then shifted under the blankets. Being sure to not wake her, he stood from the futon, then snuck to the bathroom. He needed to get this out of his system before she got up, and preferably in privacy.

_That morning had been the last time he had seen Sakura, Itachi mused to himself. He had, thankfully, been able to compose himself before she woke, and she still had no idea. Two weeks had passed since then, and Itachi was certain Sakura would have approached him if she knew about the pregnancy by then. She had not though, meaning she was still blissfully ignorant._

_Itachi shifted on the throne silently, sighing, and then wondering where she was then. He hoped that she was safe, wherever she was. Knowing Sakura, he had no doubt she would hunt down his younger brother when he had succeeded in killing him. A small smirk crossed his face, despite the dire situation he found himself in. Sasuke was certainly in for a big surprise, when he found his most avid fan had completely changed her opinion of him._

_The smirk dropped a second later, at the soft sound of footsteps walking down the long, stone corridor connected to the throne room he sat in. Sasuke had finally arrived._

_Switching on his Sharingan, Itachi crossed his legs lazily, then watched as his younger brother walked wordlessly into the chamber. Their gazes met; Sasuke full of murder intent, while his remained impassive._

"_Tell me, Otouto, what do you see with your Sharingan?"_

_The End_

**AN: Well, I have finally updated this. I was not too inspired to do so, after getting only two reviews for the last. Making nine in total. Very depressing indeed. Hint, hint. GIVE ME A REVIEW!**

**This is finished... and in case you were curious, I named this story after the song **_**Smother Me**_**, by The Used. I would recommend it to anyone. It actually is really sappy. ^^**


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